How To Convince A Loved One To Go To A Nursing Home

Many elderly people who have a clear and obvious need to be in a long-term care facility will desperately wish to remain in their own homes instead. They prefer to stay in a familiar setting and be close to their family members.

The decision to place a loved one can be painful, but caregivers need to consider the following:

• Long-term care placement can ultimately be the most loving choice when definitely needed to ensure the person receives the necessary care, is around others for social stimulation, and is in a safe and healthy environment.
  
  
• Their promises (if any) were made in the past when no one could have foreseen the current conditions that are urgently requiring the kind of care that a nursing home can provide.
  
  
• Caring for a loved one is likely seriously affecting their own physical and mental health and wellbeing. No one can be a good caregiver if they are burnt out and exhausted all the time.
  
  

Many people, however, flat out refuse to be put in a nursing home. When this happens, you can try to convince them that it’s best option for their own health and well-being. If that doesn’t work, you can trying getting help from another family member or even the person’s physician to talk with them. Sometimes people pay more attention to the advice of someone other than the primary caregiver. However, if the person is mentally competent and continues to refuse, there may be very little you can do about it unless their health is in imminent danger.

If your loved one has dementia and is resisting placement in a home or care facility, it can be more complicated, but there are several strategies you can use. You can try those listed above for loved ones who don’t have dementia. You may also obtain the services of a geriatric care manager, who likely can help guide you through the process.

Another approach you can use is referred to as “compassionate deception.” You can convince the person to go for a small period of time, such as a week. Then you stretch it out to two weeks, then three, and eventually they will probably adjust to being there full time. If a loved one is significantly impaired, he or she may even forget they were supposed to go back home. Or they may not be aware they aren’t at home in the first place.

If none of the above suggestions work and you have power of attorney, you may have to recruit the help of law enforcement. It’s only for the most severely impaired people and the most dire circumstances – such as if the person becomes a danger to themselves or others. Law enforcement typically takes the person to a hospital geriatric psychiatry unit for evaluation and treatment, from where they may be released to a nursing home.

When you must take action against someone’s will and/or go to court to get guardianship; however, you need to consult a local elder law attorney for advice because laws vary from state to state.

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