How to Discuss Your Parents Estate Plan with Them

Brad Smith • September 2, 2021

We know how difficult it can be to begin the discussion of estate planning with your parents. As we grow older and realize that our loved ones are as well, it is important to begin having those uncomfortable talks.

How to Start

Of course we know how having talks about death or dying one day is not anyone's favorite. The main reason for people not having these conversations is because they don’t want to give off the impression that they are waiting on their parents to die or become ill.


However, no matter how uncomfortable you may feel, this is a topic that must be discussed because sadly there will come a time when your parents pass away. So ensuring that there is a game plan to take care of their property and
finances when they do pass will help to maintain their legacy as well as take care of those that they love most. Therefore the stress and pressures of grieving during such hard times will be lessened. 


These type of discussions also ensure that your parents have a clear say in what they wish once they are no longer here or if they become incapacitated. It is more common within the past years for some people to encounter a time where they are still alive but cannot make choices for themselves. So outlining what their wishes are in regards to their medical care and finances is necessary because if not, state laws will make those decisions for them. Qualified
estate plans help to save time, finances, and ensure that your parents' wishes are followed properly.

Things To Keep In Mind

Wondering how to begin this conversation with your parents the best way? Although there is no right way, there are some key points to keep in mind:


  • Be honest about your concerns. We know it can be hard to be honest and open sometimes, but being straightforward and vulnerable first can lead to productive conversations. 


  • Don’t badger or annoy them with the topic.The last thing you want is for them to put a wall up and not engage in conversation with you. 


  • Include other family members in the conversation. This ensures that all parties are aware of what your parents’ wishes are and helps to make them feel supported.


  • Ensure that all parties are in good health when these conversations are being held if possible. This helps to make neutral decisions opposed to discussing once someone’s become ill.


  • Inquire with your parents what their wishes are. Never make assumptions on what their wishes are, just because you may have not had the conversation before doesn’t mean that they don't have an idea of what they want.


  • Ask your parents if they have already started estate planning. You may be surprised to know that they already have some plans in place. If this is the case, the next steps will be to review and possibly update the documents.


Some documents specifically that may need to be reviewed are:

  • Powers of attorney
  • Past wills
  • HIPAA authorization forms
  • Past trust documents
  • Insurance policy and retirement plan beneficiary designations


If you are still unsure of what steps to take, having a neutral party to help guide the conversation can help. Remember that you don't have to do it alone.

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If you need help with estate planning or any other legal concerns, we are here for you. Don't hesitate to contact our firm directly for assistance. Our dedicated team is ready to provide support and guidance to you and your loved ones during important life transitions.


Whether you're ready to schedule a strategy session to discuss your specific needs or if you're interested in exploring our wide range of complimentary guides and additional resources, we encourage you to get in touch with us.


With licensed attorneys and offices located in both Illinois and Missouri, we are well-equipped to serve clients in these regions. Reach out to us today and let us leverage our expertise and care to guide you through the legal process.

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